Life is SHIT, now let’s talk about it!

Disclaimer – if you don’t like swearing, I advise you don’t read any further… if you hadn’t worked that out from the title!

Last Sunday, my mum, my sister, and myself were putting the world to right over a glass (*bottles*) of wine. We discussed everything from Black Lives Matter, Women Belong in the Boardroom, the 8th Amendment and how SHIT life can be.

No one has it easy, but the problem is we don’t talk about how SHIT it is! We discussed putting our problems out there, how we really felt, in the hope that one person who feels the same knows that they aren’t alone.

I obviously have my blog, and this is a little ME part, to write and share my shit. I hope that others will too, this doesn’t have to be online for people to see, it can just be a scrap of paper that when you’re done you shred, a diary only for you, or a letter to a friend. But write and it will make you feel a world of difference. And remember, how little you think your shit is, if it is shit to you, it’s important! To give context to this, my Nanna visited her friend with breast cancer, and complained to her about her headache she had for days, then laughed saying I guess that’s nothing really; her friend turned to her and said, my breast cancer isn’t making your headache any less shit.

So my shit, my shit is that my father-in-law has cancer. The big C, that thing that now affects 1 in 2 people! That thing that, even knowing that statistic, would never affect someone I love. How could it, everyone I know is kind, loving, caring, why would it take someone like that. But guess what, it doesn’t care who you are, what you do, or what you are like. IT IS SHIT!

What makes this harder is it’s not my dad. Sounds crazy and backwards right!? But what I mean by this, isn’t that I wish it was my dad, but that I could ball my eyes out, I could refuse to do nothing, I could wallow (yes we all know it doesn’t help but sometimes you just need to!) because it’s my dad. This isn’t my dad, and I love him like family, but technically he’s not. And what I feel is only a fraction of what his children feel, what my stupidly strong boyfriend feels. And how can I compare to that. I feel like I have no right to be mad, to be upset, to cry. If they aren’t, why should I. Us Youngs are emotional folk, the Isards so much less so. We are chalk and cheese. But I dwell, I wonder how they all are, day in day out.

To top it off, my friends and family definitely don’t tell me their shit any more. Too worried to not over load me I think is their logic. But instead, this is even more isolating. You feel out the loop of more people that you care about. Then you feel like you shouldn’t share the less shit, (work, BF is annoying, you miss your family) because that then feels even more small and less important!

So I know I am not the only one in this boat, but it’s lonely, it’s isolating, it’s shit! But to all those other people in this boat with me, I’m here, whether we talk and share or sit quietly, we are in this together. I would like to say it gets better, but right now, I can’t say that, because I honestly don’t know.

Oh and one last thing – FUCK YOU CANCER! Donate to Stand Up To Cancer NOW! 🙂

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My Festival Advice

“A long weekend camping”

Had you said this to me when I was younger I would have hated it, refused to go, kicked up a fuss… now, now I leap at the chance. Camping you say, I can’t think of a better way to spend my weekend! Booze, friends, and lot of memories.

Having done a few festivals now each one seems to teach me something different, so this is my advice to a good festival…

Pack for all weather – even if your festival is in sunny Spain it can still rain, or in Ireland it can still be sunny! You literally can’t predict the weather (as much as they try to!). I got caught in a thunderstorm while I was in Spain! None of us had any form of waterproof with us as we all made that decision “it never rains in Spain!”

It’s okay to nap during the day – if you need it, take that nap! It will make your night that much better. If you’re over tired you won’t enjoy yourself as much, you need your energy for all that partying later.

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See acts you’ve never heard of – there will be so many people on that you want to see but go out of your way to see something new. A lot of people start off at this events, you never know you might see the next Ed Sheeran or find a new love to replace him!

Set alarms – if there is an act you really want to see set an alarm for it! It’s easy to get distracted and not notice what the time is, and before you know it you’ve missed that one person you wanted to see. Though if you do, don’t beat yourself up over it, there will always be so many other great people on.

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Stick with a friend – boring, but let’s be safe here, girls stick with your friends. We all know the drill here. But boys, try to stick with your friends too, you’ll have more fun and not end up doing anything (too) stupid… hopefully!

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Don’t take valuables – take your phone yes, you’re going to want to take a tone of photos but don’t take that nice watch you got for Christmas or those expensive speakers you spent your last pay check on. There is a high chance of it getting stolen but there is also a high chance of it getting wet and breaking!

Mark your water bottle – take off the label, write on it, duck tap it. Do whatever it takes for you to know which is your water. You don’t want to mix it up with your alcohol in the middle of the night when you’re dying of that dry mouth hangover!

Mark your tent – if your early remember there will be hundreds of tents around you later. Put bunting up, put a long stick in the group, or use someone else’s marker! You will be so grateful when you stumble back and can spot it from a mile off. Plus it tends to stop other people getting confused that it’s theirs too!

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Enjoy every minute! 

If you meet someone be nice, if you can’t be nice, be good, if you can’t be good be safe